Jo & Marks story
Jo attends the dementia group with her partner Mark, who is living with dementia.
Jo and Mark received the diagnosis of Mark’s Alzheimer’s the week before Christmas in 2023. This difficult news posed a new challenge for Mark who is also living with other long-term health conditions, and has only recently overcome prostate cancer.
Jo and Mark were recommended the Royal Voluntary Service Leicester Forest East dementia support group, which has since gone on to become a key part of both of their week.
Jo said: “Getting Mark’s diagnosis is something I will never forget. He’s still in the fairly early stages of Alzheimer’s, and the main thing it is impacting at the moment is his memory, and that can get him ever so frustrated. He can also go very withdrawn and quiet.
“I struggle with anxiety because I’ve lost a lot of loved ones in my life, far too soon, and so I’m very, very protective of Mark. He’s always liked his own space but now I worry about him more, and I must get on his nerves fussing over him and asking if he’s alright!”
Mark said: “I was an only child, so it’s in my nature to be independent.”
Jo said: “So it’s nice to get to the group and have the support of Helen the manager and Hayley the volunteer.
“I have to admit that I wasn’t sure whether the group would be for us at first, but it was so nice to meet everyone and it’s such a friendly team that we carried on and now we look forward to going every single week. The people are lovely and everything we do is lovely. We have a cup of tea when we arrive, Hayley knows just what you want, bless her. Then we spend the first half hour just chatting, catching up and socialising – which I enjoy and I know Mark does too, he’s quite happy to get involved. It’s nice to mix with people who are going through the same as us, and for me as a carer, it’s good to talk to other carers because otherwise, you might not speak to anyone who quite understands.
“After we catch up, we do little quizzes, or crafting and activities or we play games. We always have a laugh. We’ll also do some reminiscence activities and talk about what happened on this date in the past, which is really interesting. Everything we do at the group helps to keep everyone’s minds active. It definitely gets Mark’s mind going and when he gets involved, I can see that it is exactly what he needs.”
Mark said: “It helps my mind. I know the dementia is coming on and the group helps me to use my brain, it gets me thinking rather than just sitting around and letting it get worse.”
Jo said: “We had to skip a week recently, because Mark got a cold and it knocked him for six, and we were sad to miss out on the group. But his illness really knocked Mark back, and I was so upset. He wasn’t getting up until lunchtime, he was sleepy, depressed and didn’t have any interest in anything. He normally likes to keep himself fit on the treadmill and in the garden, so it was difficult to see, but thankfully he’s feeling better now and we’re back at the group.
“Helen is brilliant, and Hayley is absolutely spot on. She knows just how to interact with everyone, it’s fantastic. They’re both so professional and friendly with everyone, and they make sure everybody gets involved in one way or another. The rest of the group are lovely too, Mark even bought one lady a birthday cake recently when he found out it was her birthday, and we all celebrated together. We don’t go out a lot, and so I really do look forward to group, especially the interaction with other people, and Mark is really happy with it too.”