Ian & Anne's story 

Ian attends a dementia group with his Mum Anne who has dementia. This is their story.

My Mum has been attending a weekly group for just over a year. Earlier this year I got the opportunity to join her at some of these sessions. Even before we had arrived there was a change in Mum's demeanour. She recognised the street that we were parking in and turned to me to tell me that she had been here before and she likes it. On entering the centre for the first time (for me), Mum was comfortable and knew exactly where to go. I was made to feel very welcome by the other attendees and staff alike.

During one of the early activities I was asking Mum questions - one of which was ‘How are you feeling today’. Thinking about it for a moment Mum told me that she was ‘happy’ and I probed her as to why she felt like that and she told me that she was ‘here’ and she ‘likes it here’.

It was very clear that mum is comfortable, happy and relaxed in this environment and it meant that I could relax and feel that mum was being stimulated and in a way she was happy about. Having taken part in quiz games, artistic activity, singing, moving exercises, we then had a two-course hot meal together. Mum had clearly had a fulfilling time.

The next part was a separate session for the carers to get together, while Mum and her friends carried on with another activity. Going into a separate room and talking to other carers that have empathy and understanding for what we are each dealing with and experiencing (as carers) was a real eye opener.

Finding out that other people act or behave in a similar, unusual manner was not only normal, but also acceptable and understandable as a consequence of the degenerative condition that I thought seemed to be unique to my parent. Sharing time and experiences in this short one-hour a week opportunity has become something that I look forward to each week.

Since this first session, I have been keen to return and visit the group with mum whenever I have had the opportunity over the past four or five months. 

Now, as I have moved in to live with and help mum full-time, I find these sessions so valuable that I am arranging to attend twice a week. Mum enjoys her time, the activities and very well organised with great variety and different stimulus.