Irene's story 

Irene volunteers with Royal Voluntary Service's Living Well with Dementia support group in Cramlington. It’s a weekly group she used to attend with her husband Mel, who lived with dementia for a number of years and is run by Royal Voluntary Service staff and volunteers. 

"Mel died in 2022, but was living with dementia for many years. We had noticed symptoms for some time, but it took about 18 months for him to be diagnosed. As time went on his symptoms got worse.

"It was a challenging period. Mel had been a gentle soul, but his temperament changed. He would get upset and argumentative.  I had to learn to walk away or go along with what he said to avoid conflict or agitate him . Conversation became increasingly difficult and we could no longer have proper chats, be it about politics or TV."

After diagnosis, Irene and her husband were offered no support from their medical team, but after talking to a friend, found out about the weekly Royal Voluntary Service dementia support group. She and Mel started attending in 2018.

"The group was really beneficial for both of us. Mel enjoyed the social side of it. It was an enjoyable day out. The staff and volunteers were all so lovely, friendly and understanding. They knew exactly how to talk to those with dementia and were never patronising.

"The team also really appreciated what we as carers go through and were on hand to help with problems. This was so valuable to me and the time spent with other carers provided a chance to offload and share advice. We all helped each other and pulled together."

When Irene’s husband died in 2022, she was asked if she might be interested in coming back to the group as a volunteer. Despite being apprehensive at first, she decided to give it a go and has been volunteering there now for three years.

"I had many fond memories of the group and all the characters there. It was so appreciated by me and Mel. Volunteering has been my opportunity to give back. It’s such an important service and really helps those with dementia and their loved ones. People love coming."

In her volunteer role, Irene helps prepare the refreshments for arrival, welcomes members as they come in, serves lunch and helps people with their exercises.

"It gets pretty busy when everyone is in, there can be around 25 all in. After lunch, carers will go off to another room and we’ll do games and singing with their loved ones. It’s great fun and everyone, volunteers and members alike, leave feeling like they’ve had a good day.  For me, one of the best bits is the socialising. I’ve gone on day trips with the other staff and volunteers, been invited to parties and been to the theatre. We get on really well."

Like for many other members, the group is some distance away from where Irene lives.

"Cramlington is a 4-5 mile trip for me. I drive so could take Mel when I was an attendee, but it’s not easy for everyone. When Mel was diagnosed we quickly realised there was not much support on offer and nothing at all in our neighbourhood. It’s a shame, groups like the Royal Voluntary Service one in Cramlington aren’t in other towns. The majority of people know someone with dementia, but it feels like support for all those affected has been put on the back burner."